There is no end to what God can teach us if we have eyes to see. The world is our classroom; life is our teacher. It is a matter of awareness and intent and a measure of humility. Am I willing to be coachable? In essence, I must recognize that God is God and I am not! My wisdom is minuscule compared to what God has waiting to teach me. In fact, it is so meager by comparison that Paul tells the church at Corinth that the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.  

God grants us unlimited opportunities to learn. Often when I speak to a group, I ask the audience to list ways that God speaks to us. The list is long and initially only positive “teachers” are offered. Creation, community, children, and music are some of the positive instructors that appear on the list. Given enough time, the teachers on the opposite end of the spectrum are added—illness, suffering, loss, conflict, to name a few. It is realized that the deep, rich lessons tend to come in difficult rather than positive times in life. There is a Jewish tale in which a student asks a Rabbi, “Why does Torah say we lay these words upon our hearts? Why does it not say we lay these words in our hearts?” The Rabbi replies, “Because God knows that our hearts are closed, so we lay the words upon our hearts. When our hearts break, the words fall in.”

This is not a surprise. It is common knowledge that difficult experience is often the best teacher. As the tale suggests, we are most open to God’s teaching when our hearts are broken. We all have examples. One important lesson I learned was in the aftermath of losing a baby in stillbirth. It was a difficult time in many ways and I experienced a sense of betrayal that God would let it happen. After three years of hanging on to my anger, I realized (i.e., learned) that having a relationship with God was more important than understanding God’s ways. I learned that the only thing worse than going through the loss of my baby was going through it without God. I learned to cling to God.

A few years after this loss, my husband was working with a church that became embroiled in a political battle. This was a painful time of disillusionment and hurt for both of us. I watched as my husband and the other minister were mistreated and wounded. The church was in turmoil and I could not understand why God did not intervene; so many good people were being hurt. But in my struggle, I remembered the lesson I had learned after the loss of our baby and clung to God through this time. He was faithful to teach me again and give me what I needed. God opened my eyes to the Psalms. Previously, I viewed the book of Psalms as a long book that slowed down my annual reading through the Bible. But now I saw my words and heart expressed by the psalmist. The words jumped off the pages and gave me immeasurable comfort. Twenty years later, I still carry this love for the Psalms. They are a balm to me.

God hands us a piece of the puzzle when we are ready and each lessons learned prepared me for following challenges of life. On a subsequent occasion I was in an abusive situation. I asked the question that has echoed through the ages: Why does God not intervene?

The situation of which I speak was an employment context under an abusive employer. For seven years through both subtle and overt ways, I was belittled, told I was worthless, and discredited. I was deeply hurt and initially tried to follow the Biblical mandate of first going to him alone. I talked with him and tried to work it out between the two of us. Unfortunately, the situation continued to escalate and I sought help from his supervisor and eventually from the HR director of the company. Those were dark days as I struggled to do my work, grow professionally, and also to live in a Christ-like manner. As time passed, I began to internalize some of the messages and doubted my worth. Yet, God is faithful and gave me what I needed to address the situation. I don’t know why God allowed me to bear that for so long. I did cling to God and pleaded with God to change the heart of my employer. It took a toll on both my family and me.

Yet, God is faithful…As I consider this experience, another group of people come to mind. God’s people, the Israelites, were living in slavery. They pleaded with God for four hundred years. When God finally answered, he said, “I have heard the cries of my people.” Had he not heard them every year, every day, since they were enslaved? Was this the action of a loving God? And in another time, another of God’s children—Job—cried to God as he attempted to get his mind around the multiple tragedies he was experiencing. Job wrestled to understand the physical pain he was experiencing and the overwhelming loss of his livestock, and I imagine he especially struggled to understand why his children had to die. Job’s friends had the answer for him. It was clear to them. Job had sinned and was being punished. It was so simple. Job did not accept that answer, however, and God certainly did not. God ultimately challenged Job on his attempt to understand the ways of God. God told him that his ways are so far beyond us that he cannot explain them in ways we can understand. God told him to let go of his desire to know and instead to simply trust that God was with him.

This lesson to trust is what I began to learn during the struggle in my employment situation. I don’t know why God allowed the abuse to go on that long. There are many theories I can suggest. What I do know is that what I gained during that time was much more than what I lost. I developed a deep reliance on God that went beyond anything I had experienced previously. I learned to pray in a way that was much fuller and deeper and I learned to lean into God’s loving embrace. I learned that despite the external chaos of my life, I can have internal peace—a peace that transcends understanding; a peace that only God can give. I would not trade that for anything. Perhaps I could have learned in a simpler, less painful manner, but I do not know.

The questions we have of God remain and a part of me yearns to have every situation wrapped up a neat bow. But I accept that God is God and I am not. God’s ways are above my ways and I am content with this for the most part. When I wrestle with the presence of pain and hurt in this world, I cling to the fact that God came to earth to show us how to live in this hurting world and triumph. He certainly was not treated well and did not live in problem-free context. Jesus was abused and rejected and ultimately killed. His life was difficult and we remember his final suffering during the season of Easter. Yet, we also remember that Jesus understands the pain we experience and triumphed over the pain of this world. He did not give us a pass on the pain and hurt of this life–that is not what he promised. He gave us the gift of the Spirit to be our counselor. He gave us this helper to live in us and to pray for us when we cannot pray with groanings too deep for words. And Jesus promised to teach us–to open the eyes of our heart to see ways that we can continue his work in this world and to triumph. God is faithful and has heard our cries.

“Why does Torah say we lay these words upon our hearts? Why does it not say we lay these words in our hearts?” The Rabbi replies, “Because God knows that our hearts are closed, so we lay the words upon our hearts. When our hearts break, the words fall in.”

I Corinthians 3:19a.

Author unknown. Rosemary Dougherty lecture. Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation. December 2012.

Exodus 3:7.

Job 39-40.

Author unknown. Rosemary Dougherty lecture. Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation. December 2012.